Sadar nggak sih jika "adat ketimuran" yang selalu diagung-agungkan itu berat sebelah? Hampir semuanya hanya berpatokan pada perempuan. Perempuan harus begini harus begitu. Tidak boleh begini dilarang begitu. Kalau laki-laki?
Laki-laki punya kebebasan lebih. Saking lebihnya banyak pria di negara ini yang nggak mengerti sama sekali soal manner. Soal bagaimana SEHARUSNYA memperlakukan perempuan.
Dan sialnya saat wanita meminta diperlakukan begini dan begitu, wanita akan dicap manja. Padahal come on, gentle=lembut, memperlakukan wanita dengan lembut BUKAN berarti memanjakan wanita tapi menghargai mereka.
Baca punya Nahla:
Beruntung JG itu gentleman banget jadi gue nggak ribet hahahaha. He's annoying as hell but still the sweetest and does (almost) all the things that gentlemen supposed to do. Dia buka dan tutupkan pintu, bertanggung jawab sama semua urusan rumah tangga, dan yang terpenting ialah menomorduakan gue. Karena nomor satu ialah kerjaan. -______-
Makara gue dan Nahla mencontek list 23 Behaviors Of A Gentleman That Every Man Should Adopt ini dan akan membahas satu-satu, seberapa sering hal-hal ini dilakukan pria negara ini. Yang ditulis miring ialah komentar dari artikel aslinya
1. A gentleman opens doors for a lady.
Okelah buka pintu kendaraan beroda empat mah sendiri aja. Yang paling penting mah NAHANIN PINTU DORONG. Paling sebel sama cowok-cowok yang masuk/keluar duluan dari pintu dorong terus nggak nahanin pintunya buat gue terus pintunya mau ngejeblak ke muka gue wtf. -_______-
Bok, satpam aja buka dan nahanin pintu loh ya kan. Etika pintu dorong itu ialah lo nahanin pintu buat orang belakang lo, regardless you're a man or a woman. Apalagi orang belakang lo bawa bayi pake stroller. Bukannya buka pintu buat diri sendiri terus orang belakang lo ketabrak pintunya.
Baru tau? Nah kini jadi tau. :|
2. A gentleman walks closest to the curb.
Oke ini masih banyak sih cowok-cowok kaya gini ya meskipun masih ada juga yang nggak peduli tapi secara umum dikuasai masih lah ya jalan di sisi terluar trotoar. Skip.
3. A gentleman makes reservations.
HAHAHAHAHAHA except you're Chuck Bass, I'm pretty sure you guys prefer to make us women do this. Yang ini mah terang jarang sekali dilakukan cowok-cowok sebab makanan mah urusan wanita ya? Betapa ketimuran sekali lol.
4. A gentleman gives her his jacket.
Or at least offers to. Please.
5. A gentleman is punctual.
There's no excuse for being late. Respect her time. Never keep a woman waiting.
2. A gentleman walks closest to the curb.
Oke ini masih banyak sih cowok-cowok kaya gini ya meskipun masih ada juga yang nggak peduli tapi secara umum dikuasai masih lah ya jalan di sisi terluar trotoar. Skip.
3. A gentleman makes reservations.
HAHAHAHAHAHA except you're Chuck Bass, I'm pretty sure you guys prefer to make us women do this. Yang ini mah terang jarang sekali dilakukan cowok-cowok sebab makanan mah urusan wanita ya? Betapa ketimuran sekali lol.
4. A gentleman gives her his jacket.
Or at least offers to. Please.
5. A gentleman is punctual.
There's no excuse for being late. Respect her time. Never keep a woman waiting.
Never keep ANYONE waiting. Tapi ternyata mannernya ialah pemuda harus dateng duluan ya. Good!
6. A gentleman rises when she enters the room.
Again, a sign of respect and acknowledgement. You should also rise when she exits. At a meal, you stand when she excuses herself and again when she returns. Even a partial rising shows gentle manners, but it's best to fully stand if possible.
6. A gentleman rises when she enters the room.
Again, a sign of respect and acknowledgement. You should also rise when she exits. At a meal, you stand when she excuses herself and again when she returns. Even a partial rising shows gentle manners, but it's best to fully stand if possible.
Aku laff banget sama cowok-cowok sesopan ini. T______T Jarang sekali dilakukan para pemuda sebab yah, nggak tau dan ngapain ya kan ngehargain gue dengan berdiri? Gue ibu pejabat aja bukan. -_____-
7. A gentleman gives compliments sincerely and often.
The first words out of your mouth when you meet a woman on a date should be along the lines of "you look stunning." If you're in a relationship, don't fall into the trap of taking her for granted: compliment her as if you were courting her all over again.
*love love love* Nggak tau harus komentar apa because it's too sweet. Bahkan cewek sefeminis apapun juga nggak nolak kok dibilang cantik. :')
8. A gentleman helps her to be seated.
1. Pull the chair out for her.
2. As her knees bend to sit, gently push the chair in with both hands on the backrest.
LIKE NO ONE DO THIS EXCEPT THE WAITRESS T______T Setelah dipikir-pikir kerjaan waitress dan satpam kok sweet banget ya. T_______T
9. A gentleman gives up his seat.
Yes, on the subway. Yes, on the bus. Yes, in the waiting room at the DMV. It doesn't hurt. It costs you nothing. And if a pregnant woman or elderly lady steps into your subway car, your first instinct should be to immediately stand and offer your seat.
7. A gentleman gives compliments sincerely and often.
The first words out of your mouth when you meet a woman on a date should be along the lines of "you look stunning." If you're in a relationship, don't fall into the trap of taking her for granted: compliment her as if you were courting her all over again.
*love love love* Nggak tau harus komentar apa because it's too sweet. Bahkan cewek sefeminis apapun juga nggak nolak kok dibilang cantik. :')
8. A gentleman helps her to be seated.
1. Pull the chair out for her.
2. As her knees bend to sit, gently push the chair in with both hands on the backrest.
LIKE NO ONE DO THIS EXCEPT THE WAITRESS T______T Setelah dipikir-pikir kerjaan waitress dan satpam kok sweet banget ya. T_______T
9. A gentleman gives up his seat.
Yes, on the subway. Yes, on the bus. Yes, in the waiting room at the DMV. It doesn't hurt. It costs you nothing. And if a pregnant woman or elderly lady steps into your subway car, your first instinct should be to immediately stand and offer your seat.
Masih banyak cowok-cowok nggak pedulian sama hal kaya gini dan masih aja bawa-bawa gosip feminis. Yes, wanita feminis nggak akan minta kawasan duduk ke pemuda tapi pemuda gentle akan dengan bahagia hati menawarkan kawasan duduk ke cewek mana pun. Berapapun umurnya, apapun pandangan hidupnya.
Saya juga bahagia dengan ibu-ibu yang membiarkan anak laki-lakinya bangun di TransJakarta sementara ibunya duduk. Asal anaknya bukan balita ya. Anak usia SD harusnya sudah sanggup diajari menyerupai ini. Ibunya yang duduk, beliau berdiri. Dan saat beliau duduk sementara ada wanita lain berdiri, ibunya sebaiknya mengajari untuk menawarkan kawasan duduk untuk wanita itu.
I'll do this to Bebe.
10. A gentleman helps a lady with her coat.
Ask, "May I?" Position yourself behind her and gently grasp her coat near the collar and shoulder and allow her to slip free. Either drape the coat over your arm or hang it up. To help her put the garment back on, hold the coat in the same way and allow her to slip her arms in, then straighten the collar as she adjusts.
Baru tau bangeeettt ternyata urusan masangin coat ini cuilan dari manner ya. Sering banget liat di film-film. Tapi sebab KAPAN YA di Jakarta pake coat mari kita skip. Hahahaha.
11. A gentleman says "please" and "thank you".
Far too often overlooked, a simple "please" and "thank you" can go a very long way.
Saya juga bahagia dengan ibu-ibu yang membiarkan anak laki-lakinya bangun di TransJakarta sementara ibunya duduk. Asal anaknya bukan balita ya. Anak usia SD harusnya sudah sanggup diajari menyerupai ini. Ibunya yang duduk, beliau berdiri. Dan saat beliau duduk sementara ada wanita lain berdiri, ibunya sebaiknya mengajari untuk menawarkan kawasan duduk untuk wanita itu.
I'll do this to Bebe.
10. A gentleman helps a lady with her coat.
Ask, "May I?" Position yourself behind her and gently grasp her coat near the collar and shoulder and allow her to slip free. Either drape the coat over your arm or hang it up. To help her put the garment back on, hold the coat in the same way and allow her to slip her arms in, then straighten the collar as she adjusts.
Baru tau bangeeettt ternyata urusan masangin coat ini cuilan dari manner ya. Sering banget liat di film-film. Tapi sebab KAPAN YA di Jakarta pake coat mari kita skip. Hahahaha.
11. A gentleman says "please" and "thank you".
Far too often overlooked, a simple "please" and "thank you" can go a very long way.
Dan ajari bawah umur kalian untuk bilang "tolong" dan "thank you". Please, thank you.
12. A gentleman minds his table manners.
Even if you've never mastered the continental style of using utensils (left hand, fork; right hand, knife), it doesn't take any pelatihan to not talk with your mouth full or chew with your mouth open.
12. A gentleman minds his table manners.
Even if you've never mastered the continental style of using utensils (left hand, fork; right hand, knife), it doesn't take any pelatihan to not talk with your mouth full or chew with your mouth open.
Yah gue nggak tau harus komen apa. Tapi cowok-cowok tau table manner itu kadar ganteng meningkat dikit lol.
13. A gentleman is never rude to servers, bartenders, or anyone else for that matter.
There is nothing more offensive than someone who talks down to someone and treats them as if they were inferiors. That kind of snobbery has no place anywhere: it's ill-mannered, awful for everyone around you, and it makes you look like an ass. Treat people as you would like to be treated.
ENOUGH SAID. Kalau mereka menyebalkan ... biarkan kami-kami yang ngomel. Hahahahaha. Double standards lols.
14. A gentleman pays.
Put away the calculator. The term "going Dutch" was invented by the English as an insult: they regarded the Dutch as cheap. Just pay... and don't think that paying means you've bought anything more than dinner or drinks. There should be no expectations attached.
Under no circumstances should she see the check or have any idea how much it is. A tight-lipped smile is your friend here, as always.
Masih banyak cowok-cowok kaya gini dan saya laff sebab dibayarin terus huahahahahah.
15. A gentleman gets her safely to her door.
Her safety, comfort, and well-being are your first and foremost priority. After a date, meeting, dinner... whatever... make sure that she gets home safely and thank her for the pleasure of her company.
Ini masih banyak kok yang begini. Apalagi jika ada di grup WhatsApp yang sama, niscaya pada ngecek kan, udah hingga rumah belum?
13. A gentleman is never rude to servers, bartenders, or anyone else for that matter.
There is nothing more offensive than someone who talks down to someone and treats them as if they were inferiors. That kind of snobbery has no place anywhere: it's ill-mannered, awful for everyone around you, and it makes you look like an ass. Treat people as you would like to be treated.
ENOUGH SAID. Kalau mereka menyebalkan ... biarkan kami-kami yang ngomel. Hahahahaha. Double standards lols.
14. A gentleman pays.
Put away the calculator. The term "going Dutch" was invented by the English as an insult: they regarded the Dutch as cheap. Just pay... and don't think that paying means you've bought anything more than dinner or drinks. There should be no expectations attached.
Under no circumstances should she see the check or have any idea how much it is. A tight-lipped smile is your friend here, as always.
Masih banyak cowok-cowok kaya gini dan saya laff sebab dibayarin terus huahahahahah.
15. A gentleman gets her safely to her door.
Her safety, comfort, and well-being are your first and foremost priority. After a date, meeting, dinner... whatever... make sure that she gets home safely and thank her for the pleasure of her company.
Ini masih banyak kok yang begini. Apalagi jika ada di grup WhatsApp yang sama, niscaya pada ngecek kan, udah hingga rumah belum?
16. A gentleman listens.
If you want to get to know a person, ask them questions... and listen to their responses. Listening does not mean "waiting for your chance to talk." It means being attentive, learning to read responses, understand reactions, and navigate someone's emotional landscape.
I WISH THEY DO THIS. Karena wanita suka bicara, maka dengarkan. Hahahaha.
17. A gentleman keeps his word and a secret.
Don't commit yourself to any obligation that you are not willing to brave fire, famine, and flood to fulfill. Likewise, when you are entrusted with a secret, guard it as closely as you do your own. There is no breakup, no fight, no argument, no falling out that absolves you from this responsibility. Live and die with the secrets entrusted to you locked away in your heart.
17. A gentleman keeps his word and a secret.
<3 I DO. *loh* Ya pada dasarnya jadi pemuda jangan suka bragging dan membocorkan diam-diam lah ya. Rahasia apapun.
18. A gentleman never hits a woman. Ever.
No matter what: you never hit a woman. There's no excuse. There's no possible argument to the contrary. There's no "what if?" and there's no qualifier. Gentlemen don't hit women. Ever.
18. A gentleman never hits a woman. Ever.
No matter what: you never hit a woman. There's no excuse. There's no possible argument to the contrary. There's no "what if?" and there's no qualifier. Gentlemen don't hit women. Ever.
AMEN TO THAT! Nggak ada maaf buat pemuda yang suka mukul apalagi mukul perempuan. Cowok yang suka mukul, bukan temen gue. Eat that. Johnny Depp! Meskipun lo ganteng lo lucu lo menyenangkan, jika lo mukul cewek maka saya ilfeel. Bye.
19. A gentleman shows initiative.
If you're asked which dress, which pair of jeans, or which pair of shoes looks better...have an actual opinion. "They both look the same" or "whatever you like" are not actual opinions. Likewise, if you're asking someone on a date, have a destination in mind. Have a plan.
19. A gentleman shows initiative.
If you're asked which dress, which pair of jeans, or which pair of shoes looks better...have an actual opinion. "They both look the same" or "whatever you like" are not actual opinions. Likewise, if you're asking someone on a date, have a destination in mind. Have a plan.
Yang ini LOL. Karena cewek-cewek juga nanyanya basa-basi kok hahahaha. Ya jawablah pake opini lo (JG selalu berpendapat jika ditanya soal baju) tapi keputusan ada pada gue tentu saja huahahaha
20. A gentleman pays attention to details.
Take mental notes. Her likes. Her dislikes. Her shoe size. Her ring size (please note that nearly all jewelry stores display a default ring size of 6 for women). Her favorite color. This information will prove useful and when it does – when you show up with a bundle of lavender because you know it reminds her of her grandmother – it shows you care.
20. A gentleman pays attention to details.
Take mental notes. Her likes. Her dislikes. Her shoe size. Her ring size (please note that nearly all jewelry stores display a default ring size of 6 for women). Her favorite color. This information will prove useful and when it does – when you show up with a bundle of lavender because you know it reminds her of her grandmother – it shows you care.
Aduh kasian jadi pemuda lelah banget hidupnya ya. *puk puk* Tapi iya, diingat hal-hal kecil itu emang bikin meleleh sih.
21. A gentleman asks for her family's blessing before proposing.
This modern departure from asking her father for permission acknowledges the importance of her whole family: mom, dad, brothers, sisters, grandparents. It shows respect for her family: you are, after all, asking to join them.
So there's no such thing as a surprise for the family!
22. A gentleman is a jack of all trades.
Science fiction author Robert A. Heinlein once wrote,
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, agenda a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly."
A gentleman knows how to do things. He's the guy people look to in an emergency, whether it's a natural disaster or a social one. A gentleman is prepared to answer questions and if he doesn't know the answer, he knows where to find it. He is confident and socially adroit, able to handle any situation that life throws at him.
THIS IS PERFECT.
23. He goes out of his way to let her know he cares. Every. Single. Day.
Flowers. Affectionate post-it notes. Spa days. Simple compliments. All of those things add up. So show your affection every day.
Manners aren't something that should feel forced or ostentatious: rather, they should make the people around you feel better about being around you.
THIS IS TOO PERFECT.
*
But yes people, sehabis melewati list ini gue sadar banget, nggak ada pria sempurna. Dan tingkat pendidikan itu besar lengan berkuasa sama manner seseorang. Cowok-cowok di kantor kebanyakan pada gentle-gentle semua sih gue hepi, begitu pula dengan suami.
Peer sekali buat ibu-ibu dengan anak pria untuk mengajari mereka bagaimana jadi gentleman. Dan sadarilah memang banyak pria masbodoh jadi ya pasrah aja yang nikah sama pria masbodoh mah ya kan hahaha.
Peer sekali buat ibu-ibu dengan anak pria untuk mengajari mereka bagaimana jadi gentleman. Dan sadarilah memang banyak pria masbodoh jadi ya pasrah aja yang nikah sama pria masbodoh mah ya kan hahaha.
Minimal tahanin pintu lah buat orang belakang lo. *tetep*
Dan jadi cewek juga jangan ngerepotin lah. High maintenance boleh tapi maintain lah diri lo sendiri jangan suka bikin orang lain repot apalagi bergantung sama cowok.
See you!
PS: Too much Chuck Bass in one post? I know he's not a perfect gentleman but he's hot AF lol.
PS: Too much Chuck Bass in one post? I know he's not a perfect gentleman but he's hot AF lol.
-ast-
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar